People are often restless as a result of family quarrels. There are very few households in which one can observe peace, love, and cooperation, and in which the environment is a happy one. No matter how a household may seem from the outside, inside hatred, inconsideration, and disobedience may be festering, and these give rise to indiscipline and eventually chaos. Because of these, the institution of family is gradually disintegrating.
The institution of the family must be strengthened for the good of the society. The family is the link between the individual and society. It is a kind of mine from which, if the environment is a conducive one, people can emerge as gems. Such individuals will not only be a blessing to themselves, but will add to the glory of their society. After all, society is nothing but a group of families. Schooling can increase one’s knowledge, but a strong character can only be cultivated in the school of the home. Personality is also moulded through practice in the home. Families that do not recognize this are the ones which encounter problems.
These days, the financial aspect is considered the only responsibility associated with raising a family. People feed their children well. They clothe them. They educate them. They marry them off. In the end, they leave them a little money. In this, they consider their familial obligations discharged. This implies that a member of a family is a machine whose needs are merely physical ones. If this were true, all of this would be sufficient. But man is not a machine; he also has life and consciousness. The potential inside him is like a Kalpavriksha (the mythical tree which provides whatever one desires), but it can only flourish when nourished with positive emotions and habits. With these, even a family in poverty can produce outstanding citizens and people of excellent character.
A spiritual outlook is the only way a family’s creation and growth can produce a good environment, one in which the members can come to appreciate their lives and good fortune. If both sides strive to bring about closeness, friendship and cooperation between their souls, then it is certain that they will share the highest affinity for each other. Whatever the situation, they will remain satisfied with each other, and understanding their duties and responsibilities, will also make efforts to uplift their entire family. Such people are never satisfied with merely birthing children, but will consider their responsibilities towards other family members, and their resources (of both money and time) before increasing their family size.
In many families there is an atmosphere of ill-will, conflict, hurriedness, and ugliness. People in such environments suffer from a twisted mindset. This should be replaced with goodwill and good habits, and a daily routine that is formed on these foundations. Every member of the household should abide by the rules of hard work, cleanliness, courtesy, and thrift. The plant that is raised in such a nursery will spread its fragrance and bounty wherever it is transplanted. The creation and development of families, if it is undertaken with a spiritual outlook, will result in positive emotions and traditions, and the members of the family will feel blessed to be a part of it. If a marriage is made for reasons of lust, infatuation, desire for children, greed, or societal status, then the environment in the home will be hellish, and personality of each member of the family will become twisted. This superficial mindset eats at the foundation of the family ideal. Couples also may become uncertain and distrustful.
If the institution of the family is given new life, families can begin to experience heaven on earth. This cannot be done by taking classes—families must adopt a spiritual outlook in depth. The home should be treated as a place where one experiments with and practices these ideals. From food to entertainment, every daily activity and behaviour should follow these principles. Every member of the family should be enthusiastic in complying with these and elevating their thought process.
Wealth has its own use, as does organization and cleanliness, but it must be remembered that neither of these can give a family life. It is all right to give a child ample conveniences. However, if he is not also helped in cultivating positive qualities and a genial nature, he will always encounter problems. Such people are not able to live peacefully, nor do they allow anyone else to live peacefully. Parents are often falsely proud of such children on account of their positions, but they can never be truly satisfied.
A refined family can only grow in an atmosphere where a spiritual outlook is given the utmost consideration. If a family is unwilling to devote time to this, then it cannot ever experience heaven on earth. The members of a family should consider themselves to be limbs of the household body, and pay careful attention to their responsibilities.
Akhand Jyoti Magazine 2009 Jul-Aug
