Shreya is a student of high school. She desires to be successful and famous in life when she grows up. She believes that only those persons became successful in life who had better opportunities. Shreya often wonders why God provides opportunities only to a selected few persons? Does God favour some and overlook others? Is she going to get opportunities for success or not? Shreya`s uncle is on the board of directors of a big company. He is counted among very successful persons of the city. One day Shreya went to meet him and asked about the secrets of success in life. Her younger sister Sumedha also accompanied her.
Shreya: Uncle! Is it possible for everyone to have opportunities to achieve higher goals in life?
Uncle: Opportunities are available at every moment in life. One who identifies them and steps forward to use them becomes successful. Opportunities are like candles. Suppose you are in a dark room. There is a matchbox and a candle in your house, but unless you know where it is kept and how to light it, these are useless for you. You will remain in darkness in spite of having means of lighting around you. On the other hand, the person who knows where the matchbox and the candle are kept and also knows how to light them will have no problem. As a person learns lighting a matchbox at an early age, great men have learned the basic principles for identifying and making best use of opportunities from their very childhood.” Shreya: Sir please tell me about these principles.
Uncle: “There are four basic principles for success in life:
1. Discipline in behaviour
2. Discipline in using available resources
3. Discipline in using time
4. Discipline in thinking”
Sumedha: How does one learn discipline in behaviour?
Uncle: Human behaviour depends mainly on the habits of three parts of the body. These are tongue, eyes and ears. These are required to be trained to work under discipline. The tongue has two functions: One, It is used for speaking; and Two, It enables one to get a taste of food. Let me first tell you about the effect of speech on people. For success in any work, you need some supporters, admirers and associates. You must know how to make friends and influence people. If you make enemies in life, you get none of these. You make friends or enemies by your speaking habits. The most important thing to remember is to refrain from criticising and backbiting. With these habits you create enemies and people begin to distrust you.
You should also never speak in anger or in an insulting way. When you speak in anger or insult somebody, the other person also replies back in the same way. Thus begins a tournament of angry words, at the end of which no one wins. In most cases, both the persons who are engaged in exchange of angry words remember them for a long time. Both wait for an opportunity for revenge. By criticising, backbiting and quarrelling too one makes many enemies. Never believe any one talking against the action of another person, without verifying the facts yourself. For their own selfish interests, people often speak lies and create enmity amongst friends.
Such enemies, created by your own self, neither help nor admire your work. On the contrary, they look for opportunities to create obstacles in your success. On the contrary, by being polite in speech you make many friends, who come to your help, whenever you take up some difficult work.
Shreya: What shall we do if someone makes us angry ?
Uncle: Do you know why someone gets angry? One loses temper, when something happens against his wishes. Sometimes people also lose temper because they are tired, or they had had a confrontation with someone earlier. There are simple ways to calm down an angry person.
One: Never contradict an angry person. While facing an angry person keep quiet or get away from him. Nobody can remain angry for a long time, when none else is speaking.
Two: At that moment when someone is angry, accept whatever is being said. Later, when the anger cools down, you may explain your viewpoint in detail.
Three: Sometimes you can calm down tempers by telling a joke. One cannot remain angry and laugh at the same time.
Now I will tell you about the second discipline of tongue. Besides speaking, the tongue has one more vital function. It is also used to feel the taste of food or liquid. But greed of tongue or harmful habit of taste spoils one’s health and weakens one’s mental firmness too. You should be very careful in choosing the type and quantity of your food and drinks. Everyone knows that the habit of taking too much of sweet, spicy foods and fast foods are injurious for health. The ill effects of smoking, tobacco, hard (alcoholic) drinks and drug addiction are also very well known.
Shreya: Why in spite of knowing that these things are not good for health people develop the habit of taking these things?
Uncle: Taste and thrill of such things, if repeated without any check, develops into a habit. Initially one tastes something out of curiosity. Sometimes other persons also persuade a friend or an acquaintance to taste some ‘exotic’ food, drink or smoke. No one likes the first puff of a cigarette, the initial taste of tobacco or the first peg of hard drink. But by tasting again and again a habit is formed and the person becomes a slave to the habit. Once a habit is formed, the thing being consumed becomes a necessity. Then this necessity becomes an addiction. One cannot live without consuming the thing irrespective of knowing that it is harmful for health.
Hence, the company of those persons who have bad habits should be strictly avoided. Never taste something, which is known to be injurious for health, even out of curiosity. So far we have discussed how the proper habits of speaking and consuming the right food or drink help in maintaining the discipline of the body.
Sumedha: “Mother tells me that one should have discipline in food habits as well.”
Uncle: “Yes! If you form a habit of frequently eating sweet, spicy or junk food, or consuming soft drinks you may eat or drink even when your body does not require it. When the body requires food or water, it naturally makes you feel hungry or thirsty. Consuming food in absence of hunger, spoils digestion, makes man overweight, and he falls sick frequently.
Shreya: “You talked about the discipline of sight. How can looking at things influence other persons?
Uncle: “Apart from the voice, choice of words and style of speaking, what influences people significantly are the eyes of the speaker”. Eyes are like mirrors of mind and heart. Whatever you think or feel is also conveyed through your eyes. Feelings are expressed through eyes. Eyes convey love and hate, happiness and sadness, anger and mercy. A lover conveys love while looking into the eyes of the loved one. One pleading for mercy looks straight into the eyes.
The eyes betray what a person is trying to hide by words or some gestures. A liar avoids looking into the eyes of the questioner. Persons who have the habit of frequently looking here and there are not trusted. Sight has a great power of influencing people during communication. That is why speakers, persons being interviewed and artists performing on stage are asked to look into the eyes of persons facing them. A few examples from history will illustrate the influencing power of sight. The dreaded dacoit Angulimal could not face Gautam Buddha because of the latter’s power of sight and became his disciple.
It is well known, that while speaking to Mahatma Gandhi, if the political opponents looked into his eyes, they unknowingly agreed to his views. Saints transform ordinary persons into great men by transmitting their spiritual energy (Shaktipat), by looking into their eyes. Sumedha: Sir! Could you tell me how to develop the power of sight? Uncle: God has given everyone the capacity to develop the power of sight. It can be developed by some special yogic exercises like ‘Tratak’ or ‘Bindu Yoga’. However, for children it is sufficient to avoid looking at bad things and purify the sight by looking at beautiful, good, things of Nature.
We make the power of sight weak by looking at bad things. We must not look at sinful acts. Whatever we see stays in our subconscious mind and influences our activities sometime or the other. If you see again and again, someone wearing indecent clothes or behaving in a vulgar way, you may become tempted to wear similar clothes or behave in the same manner.
Frequently watching people smoking, taking drugs or gambling may tempt you to do the same thing and eventually make you an addict. On the contrary, if you see only activities of good people or read about them, you will be motivated to do virtuous things and the power of influence will increase in your sight.
There is a story in Mahabharata about Gandhari,the mother of Duryodhan. Gandhari had kept her eyes blind-folded for years. Because of not viewing evil or having diversions and unnecessary attractions, for a long time, her sight had developed a great power. So she could make the body of his son Duryodhan, invincible, by looking at it. Shreya: Uncle, I did not know that our own speaking, eating and seeing has so much effect on other persons. In future, I shall be careful about these things.
Sumedha: My classmate Mahesh speaks very sweetly. He never criticises or insults anyone. We never find him speaking in anger or using bad words. Everyone likes him. Yet his parents do not give him any responsibility for work. Why is it so?
Uncle: For managing things, simply being sweet in speech does not help. Perhaps, your friend Mahesh does not know how to use his personal articles properly? Unless one learns to keep articles of personal use systematically, no one believes that the person is responsible.
Shreya: One day I went to meet Mahesh at his house and found his things scattered all over his room. His mother told me that he does not keep his school-bag, books, clothes, sport tools and toys in the proper place. Whenever he needs something, he wastes a lot of time searching and becomes late for school. Systematic arrangement of articles of personal use is the first lesson to be learnt for management. Articles should be treated like study-notes for examination. Unless kept properly and taken care of regularly, these are not available when required. Keeping things in a disorderly manner also does not create a good impression on an onlooker. Dirty, haphazardly kept, broken, non-usable articles show that the owner is a careless person. No one trusts such a person for responsible work.
Uncle: Not only keeping things systematically, their proper utilisation is also necessary for success. There are two important things to be learnt about management of articles.
One: Only those things should be acquired which are absolutely necessary.
Two: Things should be used without any wastage.
People waste a lot of time and money acquiring unnecessary things, simply because these are the latest in trend or because someone else has them. If an old article is usable there is no point in having another new one for the same purpose? Whatever things are available for any work should also be carefully used without any wastage. For example, if you continue to wear your new clothes daily, these will get faded or worn out and you will have nothing to wear for special occasions. Similarly, money should not be wasted in unnecessary expenditures. One must know when, for what purpose and how and how much to spend.
Only those persons, who know how to keep and use things systematically and use the available money in a wise manner, are given opportunities and resources to do great things. By gradually taking responsibilities for greater and greater work and proving one’s worth, one gains confidence and experience. Experience is acquired by learning from childhood itself. Therefore one should not shirk from taking responsibility for any work, however small it is. Each and every work, big or small should be carried out with full enthusiasm, concentration, without caring for tiredness.
This is a great secret of success for everything in life.
Sumedha: Uncle! You also mentioned ‘Discipline of time’? How does one learn to discipline one’s time?
Uncle: God has given the same time to everyone for working. The great people of the world have the same time available to them during a day that you and I have. Whether it is a child or adult, boy or girl, man or woman, poor or rich, an ordinary citizen or the prime minister of India; everyone has the same seven days in week, thirty days in a month and 365 days in a year.
Shreya: When everyone has the same time, why do some people become successful in life and others do not?
Uncle: Only those persons become successful in life, who knows how to use their time?
Time is the most valuable thing in life. Not a single moment should be wasted in gossiping and criticising or quarrelling. Every moment should be utilised in some constructive activity or in learning new things which can be helpful to people. Great men and women had learnt the secret of proper utilisation of time during their early childhood. They had no time to think about entertainment, gossip, and mischief, criticism, backbiting or quarrelling. A lot of time is also wasted in the decoration of the body to impress others. Although it is necessary to be clean and neatly dressed, it is useless to spend too much time worrying about clothes, footwear, fashion, ornaments. Time spent in sleep, entertainment and lousiness should also be carefully controlled. Discipline of time also means having a fixed, regular routine. People, who are not punctual or have the habit of postponing work, waste their own as well as other’s time. Those who waste time do not have time for doing great things in life. Whereas wise, intelligent persons use all of their time for increasing their qualifications by learning new things. It gives them opportunities to do great things in life. The discipline of time has to be practised since childhood itself.
Sumedha: Uncle! You talked about the discipline of thinking. How does it help one in success?
Uncle: You have asked a very good question.
How you behave and everything you do depend upon what you think. If you are habituated to thinking of helping others, you will immediately step forward to help a person in need. But, if your thoughts are wicked, you will only harm others by your activities. Your thoughts also make you choose good or bad company. When you make friends with good people in life, they will give you good advice and help you in need without any selfish interest. It will bring you success in life.
Wrong thinking will bring you to bad selfish persons, who will outwardly flatter you as true friends, but will stay with you only for their own selfish interest. Similarly, dirty thoughts will spoil your character.
Shreya: How does one know what is right or wrong thinking?
Uncle: It is easy to know whether you are thinking right or wrong. If your thoughts result in activities, which help someone physically or mentally, you are doing the right thinking. On the contrary, if your thinking is likely to harm or hurt somebody, your thinking is wrong and harmful for your physical and mental health.
However, like every other thing in life, the habit of mindful, good and thorough thinking is also to be cultivated from childhood itself.
Sumedha: How can one develop the habit of proper thinking?
Uncle: For developing the habit of right thinking, you have to seek the company of right thinking persons, read only such books which give you right thoughts and take part only in those activities which are helpful to others. All men who became great had worked in some field or the other for the welfare of society. For cultivating right thoughts, it is also necessary to have belief in God. The thought that God is Omnipresent will not let you think of doing any wrong, in any circumstance, wherever you are?
The thought that God is the eternal Light of Virtues, will enlighten your mind. Learning to think rightly also requires contemplation on good thoughts and creative practice. That is why musicians, sports persons and soldiers have regular practice sessions. Righteous thinking can also be cultivated by forming a habit of reading some literature on morality daily. One way is to read the enlightening scriptures or biographies of great people.
Shreya: We have understood that for being successful in life one must adopt four disciplines: the discipline in behaviour; the discipline in using available things; discipline in using available time and discipline in thinking.
Sumedha: Uncle! We are so thankful to you for telling us these secrets of success, which made people renowned in the world.
Moral
Experience is acquired by learning from childhood itself. Therefore one should not shirk from taking responsibility for any work, however small it is. Each and every work, big or small, should be carried out with full enthusiasm, concentration, without caring for tiredness.
Source: Pragya Tales Part 2
