The personal, social, and professional life of an individual depend largely on the efficacy of interpersonal communication. This expertise defines whether those relationships fail or succeed. If we are mindful of certain essential points, then communication can be both effective and influential. When ignored, not only is the conversation unfruitful but also can cause hurdles to success and happiness.
Everyone needs to realize the role of communication in life and dedicate some time to improving it daily. Let some time be set aside for introspecting and evaluating oneself – ‘Where can I improve myself when I speak to others? What should I improve?’ Make a list of these and plan for regular practices to help you achieve your goal for effective conversations. It would be best if you can bring in a friend or wellwisher into this process of learning. Their feedback and suggestions can be helpful to your progress.
You could listen to some good conversationalists, observe the nuances, imbibe those relevant to you, and put them into practice. In this way, you can consciously make interpersonal communication a part of your development goal and strive to make it a tool for chiseling a great personality for yourself.
The most important part of a conversation is understanding the message you want to convey and remaining centered around it. Also, ensure that you keep the language simple and voice it courteously while being firm on what you want to convey. You can do this without hurting anyone’s feelings. Always keep your words within moral bounds. Whatever is said with positivity and poise has a way of reaching the listener’s heart. At the same time, words spoken in haste and huff fail in communicating the desired message and often end up in an adverse reaction from the audience. So, don’t ever let your focus waver from the message and render it with Satyam-Shivam-Sundaram (Truth-Auspiciousness-Beauty).
Establish an emotional connection with your listeners or viewers. This is the most pivotal point for effective communication. This is what ensures that the words emanating from your heart reach the hearts of the audience. Along with the best of intentions from your side, it is equally important to understand your audience – ‘What is their background? What are their requirements? What problems are they facing?’ Before you face the audience, you must do your homework diligently in understanding these aspects so that you can provide them with needed solutions and advice. This will ensure effective communication, lacking which even the most sophisticated arrangements fail to achieve desired results.
“The key to healthy communication is having a willingness to lay aside our defensive tendencies and accept responsibility for our part of the relationship. – Asa Don Brown”Think twice before you speak. It is essential to listen first and then think before replying. Do not ever give a reaction or response in haste. When talking, always ensure that the listener follows your line of thought and is on the same page. If you do this, you will be spared of having a one-sided conversation. You can quickly figure out if the other person understands what you say by looking at their body language, and it is also a good idea to ask questions every now and then to check if they are grasping correctly. Suppose the topic of the talk ends up being serious or heavy to the listeners. In that case, you could sprinkle some anecdotes, stories and show audio-video content to break the monotony.
If you want to become a good speaker, you should first become a good listener. Empathetic listening is a crucial requirement for effective communication. If you listen and observe others with empathy, you can grasp both their external circumstances and mental state. This will form the basis for valuable exchange of ideas. This also establishes a bond of trust and respect between speaker and listener.
The sum-total of all these principles would help us carry out a fruitful conversation that could otherwise have been one sided and boring if the speaker focused only on speaking without listening. This also reflects poorly on the speaker as being egoistic or standoffish, which results in listeners losing interest in what is being told, and they continue to sit as a courtesy. Such conversations fail utterly. In essence, it is crucial to be a good listener and show respect and empathy towards the audience you wish to address.
Be aware of your body language. Many times, body language conveys more than what is being verbally communicated. What you are feeling while talking and the depth of emotions from which those words are emerging is more important than what you are speaking itself. All of this is conveyed through body language. That is why honesty is the best policy. A pleasant smile on your face conveys that you are interested in the listeners, respect them, and look forward to spending time with them.
Eyes reflect the truth that is conveyed through words and body language. Always try to establish eye contact with the audience as you speak. All these aspects form the basis for effective interpersonal communication.
A single word can brighten the face of one who knows the value of words. Ripened in silence, a single word acquires a great energy for work. War is cut short by a word, and a word heals the wounds, And there’s a word that changes poison into butter and honey. Let a word mature inside yourself. Withhold the unripened thought. Know when to speak a word and when not to speak at all. – Yunus Emre
“Interpersonal skills are like database management systems: being a good listener is about routing incoming requests to an appropriate service handler. – John Alejandro King”
Source: Akhand Jyoti Magazine May-June 2021