It is said that good things come to those who practice, which means that happiness is a learned skill. If you’re looking to lead a happy life, it’s crucial to learn the right skills and put them into practice. Here are a few clues.
Commit acts of kindness. Sometimes the fastest way to personal happiness is to make others happy–whether that means planning a philanthropic event, volunteering, or banding together to help in the common cause.
Contributing positively to others’ well-being can also boost your sense of purposefulness. “I believe wholeheartedly that happiness is tied to purpose,” says motivational speaker and success coach Shawn Anderson. When individuals have a passionate purpose that inspires and drives them, happiness and fulfillment often follow hand-in-hand. It has to be realized that there are other people out there struggling and how devoting a little time, effort, and resources for their well-being can be a great blessing,” she says.
Be optimistic. ”Happiness is a choice,” says Randy Taran, founder of the non-profit Project Happiness. “We cannot control the situations we’re in, but we can control our attitude towards them.” Beveridge agrees, saying, “We cannot equate our happiness with only the ‘good times’ or we’ll all be searching forever for happiness.” When something doesn’t go your way, look for the opportunity within the adversity. (Taran calls this your “advertunity.”) Staying optimistic is the key during difficult times, since focusing on an emotion tends to attract more of the same. The more you can focus on happiness and laughter, the more you’ll attract those into your life.
Know your happiness triggers. Do you know what makes your heart smile? Taran calls these things your “happiness triggers.” Spending time on the things you love is crucial for happiness–and the better you know yourself, the easier it will be to lead a more satisfying life. If you’re still scratching your head as to your own happiness triggers, Taran suggests thinking of happy times and analyzing what made those times special. By pinpointing the situations that elicit happiness, you can then incorporate those triggers into your daily life.
Count your blessings. Expressing gratitude can open your eyes to all that you have and all that you’ve accomplished. “There are a hundred blessings we each have that we tend to ignore, only to wonder instead why we don’t have something else,” points out Anderson. By being grateful for even the smallest things, you’re more apt to be content and appreciative for what you’ve got. Those struggling with anger or dealing with distressing emotions, should try keeping a gratitude journal–or simply make a list of 100 things you’re thankful for and watch the anger melt away as the list gets bigger.
Follow your heart. A fulfilled heart is a happy heart. When you’re doing what you love, happiness is easier to find. Don’t wait for the perfect moment to start chasing happiness. Making one small change today can change your whole life.
Dr. Shelley Prevost suggests the following ideas to improve your happiness quotient:
Exercise compassion. How you respond to other people largely dictates how they will respond to you. If you believe that the quality of relationships in your life can make you happier, try empathizing with people before you jump to conclusions. Practice a “soft start up” when you confront a misdeed. Try to understand and have compassion for what another may be enduring. I predict they will respond in kind.
Choose your thoughts wisely. Chronic thoughts have a way of seeping into our lives. Whether you call it self-fulfilling prophecy or law of attraction, what you focus your thoughts on are made reality in your life. Resist the urge to default into negative thinking about events that are probably neutral and you will dramatically increase your happiness.
Stay connected. With life coming at you and responsibilities demanding your time, it’s easy to let intimacy with people you love slide. But don’t do it. Meet a friend for coffee. Eat lunch / dinner with your family. If you do nothing else to boost your happiness, do this. Connectedness pays out dividends in happiness.
Do what you love. Many people are not fortunate to do what they love. Don’t be one of them. This is an area where victimhood won’t serve you well. There will always be job scarcity, hurdles to promotions, and mountains to summit to get where you want to be.
Decide now what you want and set the course to go do it. Yes, there will be sacrifices. Yes, there will be immense effort. Yes, there will be anxiety and self-doubt. But it has been found that anything worth its weight usually is.
Akhand Jyoti Magazine May June 2014