Everyone wants harmony in life and even makes whole-hearted efforts for attaining the same. But very often something remains wanting and the result is failure. In fact, maintaining harmony requires exceptional endeavors. Any slackening in efforts may prevent the desired outcome. Life is multi-dimensional; so only when a person triumphs in various aspects and is able to establish equilibrium among all of them, one may be called successful in a comprehensive manner. A person may be proficient in business, but poor in maintaining relations. This weakness will reduce the happiness of his life. Similarly, one may be good in handling the relations, but is frail in some other respect. This deficiency will substantially minimize his happiness. All the dimensions of our life are closely interlinked and impact each other. Our life begins to wobble if there is imbalance or distortion even in a single aspect. Thus, in order to lead a comprehensively successful life, we should understand the basic principles of human life and imbibe those virtues which give rise to harmony.
The most important factor leading to happy life is self-reliance. One should earn enough money by righteous means so that one can support one’s family. The virtues of hard work and perseverance normally help in this matter. However, in order to succeed in one’s job or own business self-confidence is a must. TV journalists Katty Kay and Claire Shipman in their book titled ‘The confidence code’ write that though success depends on the ability of the person, it also depends on his confidence in the same proportions. However, they argue that while confidence is partly influenced by genetics, it is not a fixed psychological state. It requires a choice: less worrying about people- pleasing and perfection and more action, risk taking, and fast failure.
Caring and sharing are excellent virtuous traits which help in maintaining harmony. This is so because when the needy gets the help, he keeps an attitude of gratitude and positive sentiments towards the helping person. This serves as a blessing for the helper.
Our life is a world of human relationships. There is need to preserve and cherish the bonds of relations. If strong and secure, these bonds give us inner strength and eliminate our insecurity. The realization of intimacy also gives deep contentment. Therefore, the sphere of intimacy should not be restricted; it should be expanded. However, one should not get so much entangled in it that the other dimensions of life are left unattended.
While dealing with friends or close associates, we should keep in mind our obligations towards them. The relationships should also be infused with positivity. This will happen when we don’t expect too much from others and also remain free from any prejudice. To estimate the importance of relations in life, George Eman Vaillant, an American psychiatrist and Professor at Harvard Medical School, conducted a survey on 268 students of the Harvard University. He concluded that in spite of professional success and physical fitness, a person cannot be happy, if he is in want of affectionate relations. The survey further revealed that happiness depends on two factors–the first being loved and the second, the ways and means to retain it.
Some jealous people try to create differences amongst friends. They do this to impede others’ progress. However, this is a distorted mentality, which does not benefit anyone. On the contrary, if efforts are made to reconcile, it would benefit us as well as others. This also f etc.hes for us the cooperation of those whom we have helped.
Relations can never be sustained by bragging. For maintaining amicable relations, one should submit, endure and let others win. We can be victorious only by being ‘defeated’. Though this appears anomalous, but it is true. In relations, the more we try to prove our superiority, press our rights and dominate, the more we move away from the hearts of others. Relations require amity, warmth, rapport, prudence, service, compassion and sympathy. The more one is prosperous in these virtues, the more he will succeed in maintaining harmony in all aspects of life.
The incident happened when Pandavs were very young. It happened during one of their dinner occasions. Generally the royal food consists of many dishes arranged in an order; i.e. each one of them has a specific place on the thali/plantain leaf.
One night, during the dinner, suddenly the lamps were blown off due to heavy winds. So everyone was asked to stop eating and wait till the lamps were lighted again (as it was a custom not to eat food in the dark.). All the children stopped eating except Bheema. He was unable to resist himself from eating; so by the time lights were lit his plate was almost empty. When asked by his mother Kunti ‘How he was able to eat?’ Bheema replied that ‘as everything is in its specific place only, I’ve no problem in eating the things I wanted.’
This answer raised thinking in Arjuna. He thought if Bheema can eat with his perception of things even without light, why can’t I shoot at the things in the dark because things would be in their place only. So he started practicing archery in the dark.
One day his guru Dronacharya observed it, and was stunned because he didn’t teach this lesson. On learning about Arjuna’s thinking he felt very happy at the interest of his disciple and his keen interest in archery.
This, out of the way of thinking / correlating every incident to his learning, of Arjuna made him the expert of Archery.
Akhand Jyoti Magazine 2016 Jul-Aug