The word yoga means ‘to join’ or ‘to unite’. Every man is in his natural, normal state is incomplete. To overcome this incompleteness he joins hands with another potent power to acquire strength and augment his potential, and then using this enhanced capability rapidly proceeds from the state of incompleteness to completeness: this is the sole purpose of yoga.
There are at least 84 famous branches of yoga like Hath Yoga, Raj Yoga, Japa Yoga, Laya Yoa, Tantra Yoga, Bhakti Yoga, Jnana Yoga, Karma Yoga, Swara Yoga, Riju Yoga, Maha Yoga, Kundalini Yoga, Samatva Yoga, Buddhi Yoga, Praña Yoga, Dhyana Yoga, Sankhya Yoga, Jada Yoga, Surya Yoga, Chandra Yoga, Sahaja Yoga, Prañav Yoga, Nitya Yoga and so on, and another 700 not-so-popular sub-branches. The system, sadhana techniques and practices of each of these are very different from the other, but even then, the guiding principle among them is the same. The means may be different but the ultimate goal is the same. The progress made from smallness to greatness, from illusion to reality, darkness to light, incompleteness to completeness, from death to immortality is yoga. The attempt to transform the molecular soul into the Supreme Soul is yoga. Each and every path that attempts to achieve this is a yogic path.
To reach a place there could be different paths from different directions. Likewise there are several ways to self-realization too. When one is hungry one may choose to eat bread or rice or sweets or fruits or even meat, as per one’s liking, to overcome hunger. All these food-items are very different in character from each other but eating any of them serves the same unique purpose namely, ‘overcoming hunger’. Similarly, there is just one purpose behind all the yogic practices, ‘expanding individual self ‘ or in other words, ‘uniting/linking smallness with greatness’.
Among all the streams of yoga, Grahastha Yoga (yoga of married life) is also one. If one gives a serious thought to it, one would realize that raising a family is indeed a very important, and yet relatively simple yoga. Even then the ‘siddhis‘ (spiritual accomplishments) attained through its practice are in no way inferior to any other yoga. In fact, they are superior. Grahastha Âshrama fulfills the need of the other three ashramas and lends support to them. In other words, all the other three ³shramas are meant only to properly organize Grahastha ashrama and make it peaceful and happy.
Youth, in Brahmacharya ashrama are asked to channelize their energies for self-improvement and observe abstinence only so that their forthcoming grahastha ashrama is energetic and resourceful. Those who take up vanprastha and sannyas devote their energy to benefit others and try to bring peace and happiness to the world. But who are those ‘others’ and what is this ‘world’? These are different names of grahastha ashrama only. On a weighing balance, all the three ashramas on one side would be balanced by the single grahastha ashrama on the other. If grahastha ashrama gets disorganized or destabilized, the other three ashramas would also not survive in this world.
Religious scriptures have prescribed that raising a family is a very important duty of every human being. It is written that the soul of a person who has no offspring has to go to hell and it cannot attain peace. It is also written that without giving birth to a child, one can never repay the debt of one’s parents. There are several such beliefs prevalent in Indian culture. The real meaning behind them is just this: it is abiding to all to raise a family, help making good future of a child and contribute to the welfare of the society. This is worth pondering over. Why has so much importance been attached to the grahastha ashrama? When a serious analysis is done it can be understood that raising a family is indeed a divine yogic practice which helps in evolution of the self. It leads one to heaven, helps in breaking worldly ties and attaining realization.
Most of the revered rishis (Indian sages, scientists of spirituality) of yore were married and had their families. Rishi Vashishtha had one hundred sons, Anusuya was the wife of Rishi Atri, Rishi Gautam’s wife was Ahalya, Parashuram was the son of Rishi Jamadagni, Sukanya was the wife of Rishi Chyavan, Rishi Yagyavalkya had two wives – Gargi and Maitreyi, Shringi was the son of Rishi Lomash. Though there were a few exceptions who had taken up sannyasa at a matured age, but almost all other rishis raised families and lived with them. They performed all their penance in grahastha ashrama and attained self-realization while being with their families. Lord Krishna, the supreme master of yoga raised a family and so did Lord Shiva, the presiding deity of yoga. In olden times it was commonplace to grow hair long, remain unclothed and sit on animal skin for sadhana. People had to live in small cottages in small villages. It is incorrect to say based upon these signs that these much married rishis who were family men, had to leave their families to attain realization.
Creating and raising a happy family is in fact a very natural, important and available-to-all yogic path of self-development. Till a boy lives alone, his concept of self remains limited to just himself. He only thinks about feeding and clothing himself, and about his studies, his games and his own happiness. His entire work-field remains confined to just himself. When he marries his circumference of self-expands. He begins to think about his wife’s happiness and comfort. He begins to fulfil the needs of his wife while even compromising on his own comforts and wishes. He spends his energy to help and serve his wife, and make her happy. This just means that his conception of self now expands to two individuals from one. Then a baby arrives. The man now has to put so much selfless attention in serving the child’s needs and his all-round development that he forgets about his personal needs and tries to meet all the child’s requirements. Thus the circumference of his self-expands from two to three. If father brings sweets home, he doesn’t eat them but distributes them to his children. He accepts hardship but gives full attention to his children’s health, education and happiness. Day-by-day he begins to establish control over his selfish ways, learns self-control and begins to regard wife, children and relatives etc. as his own self. This way indeed he progresses rapidly on the path of self-development.
Lord Manu has said, “A ‘complete human being’ is a man along with his wife and child.” Till this does not happen he remains an incomplete, undeveloped man. Just as it is not possible to gain admission in a college without passing the entrance exam, so also without grahastha ashrama it is very difficult to get into the next stage ashramas like vanaprastha and sannyasa. For most people, the domains of whom they regard as themselves, expand only gradually and sequentially.
Self-expands from a single individual into two as husband-wife, then with a child into three and then into relatives and neighbours, into society, into village, region, state, nation and finally into the whole world. The entire humanity gradually begins to embrace ones sphere of own self. The progress that started from one to two in grahastha ashrama culminates into the realization that there is one’s own soul that is spread in the whole world, one divine light of Supreme Soul that permeates the entire cosmos. With the arrival of wife man learns to control his selfishness, with children the self-control matures further and slowly man learns to master his selfishness completely. The practice of forgetting oneself for others gradually gets so evolved that nothing remains mine, everything becomes others’. Poetic renditions of ‘I find nothing as mine, all belongs to Thee’ begins to resonate in the heart. When ‘I’ dissolves, only ‘Thou’ remains. The basic and convenient practice of Grahastha Yoga in its perfectly evolved state results in the union of individual soul in the Supreme Soul. The bounded soul gets rid of its incompleteness, attains perfection and true purpose of yoga is met.
Source: Married Life: A Perfect Yoga
