Everyone likes to receive praise. Some people do not get tired of self-praising, and yet there are others who are so amazing that people naturally praise them. Sometimes praise is offered to motivate someone, and sometimes just to please someone. Praise, in a way, highlights qualities. Praise is not only for humans but also for God. Most of the verses in the scriptures are eulogies to please God. There are many beliefs in relation to praise in foreign countries. For example – the tradition of praise in China is non-existent. Most of the people there do not praise, because they believe that praise gives birth to ego in a person. If someone is praised for everything, then his personality becomes egoistic. As opposed to this in the West, everyone praises each other for every little thing or work.
There, children are praised a lot because they believe that if the children are praised, they will become confident to tackle challenges in life. Many research studies have also proven that the children, who were appreciated for good work, performed better than other children in the field of social skills and behavior.
Jennifer Henderlong Corpus, a psychologist who studied the effects of praise for thirty years, found that it can be the most powerful motivating force if it is used properly. According to her, if we praise someone sincerely, and praise those traits that have the power to change his / her life, then these words of appreciation can change the direction of his / her life positively.
The highest positive influence of praise has been seen on the children. If children are praised instead of being reprimanded, these words will have equal value to earning a prize for them. Little children work very well in such an environment. Loving and sincere praise builds confidence inside them, and thus they improve their performance. If the children’s talents are praised then there is continuous increase in those talents, but be cautious about praising children for achievements that come easily, because it gives rise to ego.
Praise should be offered for those talents that are within the nature of the person. If an undeserving person is given an inflated praise, then it is mere flattery, which is of no use. With this sycophancy, the ego flourishes within that person, and it also degrades the personality of the person who is providing false praise. Everyone works hard, but not everyone achieves success. Most of the time success is appreciated, but hard work should be praised so that more effort can be made next time to achieve success. Praise given to a diligent personality transmits new energy in him because of which he works harder, and he also respects the praise. If nothing can be done for anybody, simply appreciate his work by praising his qualities genuinely. In this way you are helping him. There are many people whose sole purpose behind doing any work is to get praise and earn fame. However, truly hardworking people do not work to earn any kind of praise; but if someone praises their work, or offers a few words of
appreciation, it touches their hearts and they reach their destination faster. There are some people who praise unceasingly, without any reason. Praise from such people loses its importance and does not benefit anyone. If praise is offered to the right people at the right time then it is effective. Praising oneself exposes the ego of the person, while praising others reflects ideal characteristics and positivity of that person.
While praising, it should always be remembered when, where, whom to praise, and why we are praising. Do not be a miser in praising others and be genuine; and praise from the heart. Praise should be such that the receiver will accept it whole-heartedly. Praise should not be given in seclusion but in the group setting, so that its effect can reach far and wide, and inspire and encourage others to act accordingly. If you have positive thoughts for someone then you are able to choose the best qualities of that person and provide genuine praise. People who are jealous, full of hatred, egoistic can never praise anyone, as they feel hurt and have ill feeling, jealousy towards the person who is receiving the praise. Maharishi Patanjali has given four principles for practical life in Yogasutra – friendship, compassion, pure joy, and non-attachment. Friendship should be with similar kind of people, compassion towards the people who are unhappy, joy towards the pious and successful people, and equanimity towards the people who give heartache. We should praise the virtuous qualities and good actions of others, as it enhances our own personality.
Impressed by the renunciation of a saint, a king, too, received diksha (spiritual initiation) from him. Many thousands had already been initiated by the saint. Seeing their king, too, among the initiates, the subjects went to him and said: “Great king, now you are our Guru bhai; so do not demand tax from us”. Caught on the horns of a dilemma, the king remitted their tax dues. Consequently, the treasury began to deplete fast. The whole system went into disorder. People stopped doing any work and started living off the stored money. The king was very perturbed at this situation and sought his guru’s advice.
The guru after hearing the full details said: “If the spirit of diksha is not implemented in actual conduct, it remains meaningless. Besides being an initiated disciple, you should also be a pragmatic king. Those whom you consider your gurubhais are all lazy shirkers. You must run your administration in accordance with the rules and regulations of your regime, otherwise you, too, will be a sinner like them and also be guilty of the impending anarchy”. The king began to rule sternly. The new order with good coordination soon put the wheels of administration back on the rails.
Akhand Jyoti
July-Aug 2018
