An individual personality is the permutation and combination of various traits put together. These traits may be either positive or negative. Some of these traits dominate a person’s personality and are clearly visible. An individual is appreciated or criticized according to this dominating quality. On the basis of this prominent trait an individual is recognized and categorized accordingly.
Appreciation is an opinion expressed in sweet words regarding an individual for his action in a situation or the trait he possesses. It creates good impression on the person he interacts with as well as the observers. Praising and listening to praise give contentment and inner peace to both. The moral of the fortunate one who is appreciated is boosted so that he works tirelessly to enhance the trait being praised further. The ones who appreciate the trait are impressed and in the long run wish to emulate the person they admire. This works positively on everybody.
If a person praises himself, it sounds ego. One who becomes habitual to listen to appreciation or works only for listening the sweet words in praise slowly turns to be an egoist. Beauty of the trait appreciated is lost and the pride of the trait evolves into an egoist through it. Every individual is quite aware of himself at heart. Other’s observation / remarks come as appreciation. Listening to appreciation is also addiction. An addicted person gets entangled in it. He then works only to receive appreciation. This fuels his ego further and results in his decline.
There is an anecdote revealing the worth of appreciation. Once the sage Vishwamitra, who was a Maharishi (sage of higher rank), became very ambitious. He wished that the title of Brahmarishi (sage of the highest rank of the whole universe) be conferred on him. He undertook great penance to please Lord Brahma to get the title as a boon. Lord Brahma was pleased; he appeared before him but confessed his inability to do so. He said, ‘Only sage Vashishtha can confer this title on you.’’ Maharishi Vishwamitra strongly disliked Maharishi Vashishtha. He organized a fire ritual (yagya). In this event, he invited everybody except sage Vashishtha. Sage Vashistha’s sons sensed the situation and were annoyed. In retalliation they tried to spoil the event but were destroyed by Vishwamitra’s power of penance. Still he was not satisfied. One day he went to sage Vashishtha’s cottage in disguise intending to harm him. He heard the conversation between sage Vashishtha and his righteous wife Arundhati. He was astonished because the sage was singing praises of Vishwamitra. He felt ashamed and deeply sorrowful. Overcoming all his ego, he at once fell on Vashishtha’s feet for forgiveness. He confessed his ignorance and deeply ingrained sense of vengeance towards the sage. Maharishi Vashishtha forgave him and also addressed him as ‘‘Brahmarishi”. By now Vishawamitra had lost the desire for this title which he received surprisingly.
A well-known Hindi poet and saint, Goswami Tulsidas wrote: ‘‘It’s not that only good traits receive appreciation but it’s the distinctness in a trait that receives praises.” For instance, a very small quantity of nectar can save lives in a short span of time. A drop of poison can destroy lives of thousands of people in a moment. Nectar is praised for its life saving quality whereas poison for its life destroying quality.
A person or thing is appreciated and recognized for its distinct quality. The amount and intensity of appreciation is directly proportional to the amount of the visibility of the distinct trait. For instance, a rose flower is praised for its beauty in terms of the prominence of its fragrance, colour, size, or delicacy, whereas a thorn is judged for the quality of length, sharpness and intensity of its prick, since it is the protector of the rose flower. Appreciation is for both the traits positive as well as negative. It is related to its characteristics.
Praise is sweet sounding and welcomed wholeheartedly by the listener. On the other hand criticism is harsh to and generally disliked by the hearer. Many times it is not tolerated and is instantly responded more forcibly. Yet criticism has a quality that cannot be ignored. In general, criticizing others and listening to the criticism of others are warmly welcomed. This also makes a good topic of gossip. Of course, such gossips do not cause any impact nor are they of any use to anyone. Criticism should be seen as a mirror image of a person reflecting his shortcomings and areas that are to be worked upon for betterment. Those who take criticism positively gain from it. They make the necessary positive changes and turn into better persons. They learn from the criticism meted out to them, analyze it, accept the truth and move ahead reforming themselves instead of being hurt by it. This leads them in the right direction.
A renowned Indian poet and saint Kabirdas advises in his couplets that a critic should be welcomed warmly and be always kept nearby, because he is a true well-wisher and a reformer. He is a cleanser and a guide who helps us make ourselves better persons.
Criticism too has its limitations. It doesn’t work when you want help from anyone. Here only words of praise play magic. That is why when prayers are sung to the Almighty in the form of verses or hymns, that is all praise. This creates a totally positive impact on both the listener and one who recites. The positive atmosphere makes the mind relaxed, mood joyful and free from all the worldly worries.
Appreciation is praise but it is of two different kinds – true praise and false praise. True praise always casts a positive effect on a person; but sometimes false praise can also produce unbelievable miracles. A person with hidden traits is uplifted by it. The words of praise help overcome his fears and motivate him to make the right changes in his behaviour. Finally the personality is transformed and a new person evolves.
So it is good to develop a habit of appreciating those who deserve it. Appreciate in slow, sweet, steady and true words for the right impact. It will definitely affect the speaker, the listener and those who wish to learn and benefit from it. Some may carry an urge to be praised the next time. Their deeds will be directed towards it; so praise wholeheartedly and for the benefit of others.
Akhand Jyoti Magazine 2016 May-Jun