Asvina saraghena ma madhunankta subhaspati
Yatha varchasvatim vacham avadani janan anu.
-Atharvaveda 9/1/19
O the gods of light, Ashvini Devas!
Endow me with the honey made by honeybees, so that I may speak to the people in a sweet and illuminating tongue.
Speech is the chief medium of expression. It reveals the inherent qualities of the personality. Behavioral skill, talent, and inner strengths – all find expression through it. But on the contrary side, the blemishes and weaknesses are also mirrored. For the wise, even a short conversation is sufficient to assess the general qualitative level of a person. It does not take long for the pettiness of the petty and the goodness of the good to come out through this medium.
But although the chief medium, speech is not the only one; there are other agencies too, namely, facial expressions, eye expressions, modes of sitting and standing, gestures, and so on. They are all voices of the personality which many times are able to communicate it fully even if the tongue is silent. The buoyancy of self-esteem, the gleam of self-confidence, the lifelessness of self-contempt and the hesitations of latent complexes all these feelings and emotions reveal themselves this way.
This expression of self is not an entirely unconscious or involuntary action. It can be improved and refined by the use of will power and by proper training.
But for this, we will have to
understand and evaluate ourselves afresh, ->
watch our conduct, and ->
resolve to root out the bad habits, which have crept into our characters.
Are we ready for this? Ask this question to yourself repeatedly. If the answer is in the affirmative, you can definitely express yourself so effectively as to impress and even overwhelm those whom you meet.
For this, you will have first to keep close watch on the bodily gestures and postures, which constitute what is called the body language. How you walk and sit, what is your demeanor when meeting any person etc. are some such aspects, which need a fresh look. Walking with a drag or thump, shaking legs while sitting and many such common habits make the personality unattractive or even repulsive. Some people walk with the head bent down, some bite nails while sitting or twist fingers, some keep picking nose. These and other such bad mannerisms show that the unconscious has our personality and its expressions under its enslavement. The sooner this condition is changed, the better.
When you walk, the gait should reflect elegance and assurance. Moving with measured pace and comfortable ease is a sign of self-confidence. Similarly, while preparing to sit, it is not proper to drag the chair or seat. After sitting down, do only that for which you are sitting there in the first place. Do not allow the involuntary actions of the unconscious to take a grip over you. Such finer points acquire greater significance when we go to meet somebody or present ourselves for interview. In such cases, permission should be sought before entering. If called in, you must not forget the appropriate salutation or greeting. There should be, on these occasions, a hint of cheer and natural calmness on your face. A tense expression shows lack of self-confidence.
When you meet someone, meet pleasantly, regardless of the immediate situation you are in, i.e., even if you are busy or surrounded by problems. A conscious effort to generate such emotions within oneself helps the growth of control over feelings, cool assertiveness and bold self confidence in life. Also keep in mind that a dress mode appropriate to the occasion enhances the effectiveness of self expression.
Now comes the turn of expression by the tongue. Often the mode of speaking, too, suffers from many faults of involuntary mannerisms, e.g. idiosyncratic repetition of particular words or phrases, speaking either haltingly or too rapidly, launching into speech immediately after taking a seat and without surveying the situation, or alternatively, taking so much time to take off that the time is over. These defects are again the outward signs of the pressure of the unconscious. We should free ourselves from its hold.
Some other points to be kept in mind :
- Whenever we meet somebody or go to a public gathering, we should speak in a manner which is in tune with the ambiance.
- Normal courtesies towards those present should be observed.
- We should speak only when our turn comes, or after obtaining due permission.
- The matter should be presented methodically, point-wise, and supported by self-explanatory examples and proofs when required.
- Every stage of the speech should reflect our inner assurance, but not arrogance.
- When someone has to be contradicted, it should be done politely, with due respect to the person concerned.
- The speech should be made in a comprehensible, polite, firm and controlled tone.
Be it be speech or conduct, the more it is made free from the unconscious-driven reflexes, the better. Only such achievers, through their impressive personalities, assume the mantle of true leadership in life and society.
Book : Jeevan Sadhana (A noble art of living)
Edited