Self-respect is the sense of self evaluation of an individual and how he rates himself or assesses his worth. This evaluation depends upon his belief in himself and his emotional state. It is a subtle element, which is the feeling of respect for the self. The development of self-respect depends a lot on the upbringing in childhood. Lack of proper emotional nurturing from parents or guardians, wrong company, deep trauma or adverse experiences in life, poor performance in school or college, bad habits, or falling prey to addiction are the causes that inhibit healthy development of self-esteem and the person begins to suffer from a deep inferiority complex and thus cannot live life to its fullest.
Consequently, the symptoms of stress, anxiety, solitude, or depression increase, and a person faces difficulty making friends or forming or maintaining healthy relationships. This severely affects his intellectual and employment-related activities, and such a person is often seen falling prey to alcohol and intoxicants. In such a situation, the person cannot freely open up about his aspirations, requirements, and sentiments. He does not consider himself worthy of even the ordinary pleasures, comforts, and rights of life and also feels difficulty making decisions.
A person suffering from negative thinking feels that wrong things happen only to him, and he is not made for good things. He keeps wandering in the past and only counts his failures and negative experiences. In such a situation, he becomes a victim of extreme anxiety. He is beset by his inability and a sense of futility that no one likes, loves, or accepts him.
Undoubtedly, proper development of self-esteem is essential for leading a healthy, balanced, and successful life. If, for some reason, a person is threatened by a lack of self-esteem, he can treat it on his own and augment his self-confidence through measures mentioned below:
- In order to develop self-confidence, pinpoint the perversions which reduce your self-worth. Find out their source and think profoundly about the misconceptions in mind, which impart this negative sense to the self, give rise to the feeling of guilt and disgrace oneself.
- Make a list of such habits and actions that are discoloring self-respect. These days, the smartphone is emerging as a villain in this context. It continues to incite such activities, which become a cause of concern and remorse later on and undermine self-respect. Beware of its illusion. Calm your inner critic. Stop the negative voice of the mind, which indulges in unnecessary criticism by expounding and soothing it.
- Inner negative voice is primarily based on our own actions done in the past and events that have happened earlier. It takes time to heal such an inner canker that occurs under an impulse or frenzy, ignorance or circumstantial pressure; let it recover. For this, adopt a healthy and balanced lifestyle and live in an environment with righteous thoughts and sentiments. This task can be perfectly accomplished through reading noble literature, being in noble company, and performing meditation and prayers. Reach down to its root cause with deep introspection, understand it properly, and treat it sincerely.
- Identify your negative beliefs and challenge them. Also, recognize the positive things about yourself and encourage them. Live in the present, be aware of your thoughts and feelings, practice meditation, and stay connected with yourself. Deeply bury the inner critic within, who holds double standards. Neither be unduly harsh towards yourself nor be extremely generous towards others. Give some space to yourself, train your inner critic. Try to understand the functioning of the mind. Understand the subconscious and unconscious nature of the mind.
- Being very ruthless with mind may even lead to adverse outcomes. So, deal with it wisely, prudently, and patiently. Treat it just like a mother deals with her spoiled brat. Work on it with great forbearance while employing the dual strategy of affection along with improvement. Keep relaxing in between and do what makes you happy during intervals. Compliment yourself on small achievements and live your life with joy. Make the best possible endeavors, but do not curse yourself for your inadequacies.
- Human errors are possible in the path, which will happen, but constantly cursing yourself for them would end up using up all your energies in some non-productive consequences. In such a situation, learn from the incident, accident, or flaw. Write it down in bold letters. Keep repeating it many times and pace up your constructive practice. If you make a mistake again, it should be on a different level. In doing so, as small successes will add to your self-confidence, one day, your face will shine with the smile of victory.
In this way, just like a sportsperson, enrich your self-esteem by refining your skills in between defeat and victory. Realize that no one is complete; everyone makes mistakes. You are not an exception. Focus on what you can change. Spend your time with people who have a good opinion of you and who make you feel better, who inspire you to do your best, and promote your self-esteem. If such a company is not available, then one can take recourse to the books of eminent personalities and enjoy the company of their discourses. For this, study the lives of those who have strived to attain the pinnacle of success in their respective fields. In this process, stay away from those who try to demean you due to their inherent envy, malice, and frustration, disseminate negativity and become the cause of downgrading your self esteem. Learn the art of dealing with such people without losing your inner balance. In fact, the attitude of neglecting evil is beneficial up to a certain level. Also, learn to stand up for your rights and learn to say ‘no’ when needed.
Write down the saga of your struggle and share it with those in need of it. This, too, will prove to be an initiative of boosting self-confidence. Think of the struggling people like you and try to be a solution to them.